My name is Quentin Andrews and I work as a Q&A tester for EA Kredix. We’re officially known as the “smaller projects team” which a good 85% of the time means “we’re going to cancel this game”. You’d think that would make me find my work quite depressing, but sometimes it feels more like I’m a custodian of quality, making sure that these games never see the light of day. Still, if a game makes it this far then that means someone up top approved of it at some point and that thought alone is usually more depressing. I work with 2 other colleagues; Chris Plus and James Valent and all of us hate our job. I’m 25. I used to have ambitions. Here’s what we’ve been up to this week.
I’ve given up on Tennis is for Everyone! It took me all of today to finish one cup, and I didn’t lose a single point. I’ve made a genuine list of bugs and glitches of around 20 and filled the rest of the document with my premade list of over 200 common and unremarkable bugs. They’ll an the game almost immediately after that. It’s incredible how “safe” a lot of people in suits can be when it comes to game publishing , I once simply put “doesn’t computer well” and put on another 4 months onto the development cycle. Once again put off Cold Sweat because I had to stay awake during that hideous Wii monstrosity and ended up emptying the vending machine of energy drink. My leg won’t stop shaking.
Chris came in with a black eye and broken arm today. Turns out he went to dinner with his wife yesterday and when he talked about work a black guy heard him and didn’t give him a chance to explain his actions. Myself and James found this hilarious, but our mirth was short lived when we got word through that FUNK IN DA TRUNK had been officially canned and that Chris was now not being forced to shake his sweet ass all day. I asked him if he’d help me test Cold Sweat, but when I saw James tear stained face I suggested that perhaps MOlf needed his attention more. James simply whispered “thank you”. It felt good to be the good guy for once.