In an utterly unexpected turn of events, Valve has surprised everyone by throwing up an advert on Steam finally announcing a game for a franchise that has been away for far too long. “We’re very excited to finally announce that Guitar Hero 7 will be making its way to consoles this fall,” read the announcement, much to the confusion of almost every gamer. In a hastily put together interview, Gabe Newell explained that “Activision approached us with a unique, although somewhat baffling business opportunity to announce their game for them. We’re not sure why, you should probably ask them to be honest.” So we did.
In a separate interview that I had to run across town to get to and ruined my new shoes in the process, Bobby Kotick explained the company’s reasoning. “It works like this, if we announce a new Guitar Hero game, nobody cares, it’s expected and a little underwhelming. But, we did some market research and discovered that the headline ‘Valve Announces Highly Anticipated Sequel’ is the single most likely thing to be clicked on on the internet. So we drew up some contracts, negotiated a deal, shut down a development studio; that’s not related to the deal it was just that it was Thursday so that’s what we do. Anyway, we called Valve and they agreed.” When asked if he’s worried about negative backlash from the decision Mr Kotick said “Wait, you think we have any positive PR left? Really? I just shut down another studio during this interview, no no no, negative backlash is not a concern at all.”