Team Fortress 2 Officially Canon with Everything

Just as addictive, but you can’t open tabs in video games.

Valve are a company that likes to do crossovers, from Portal and Half-Life sharing a continuity to non-Valve franchises like Payday and Poker Night at the Inventory having some of Valve’s famous characters make an appearance, but recently a group of media study students from Kent have made a startling discovery. Team Fortress 2 is now, officially, part of every fiction ever.

“It’s an amazing achievement and one which has been amazingly difficult to prove,” said Thomas Droop, Head of the Media Studies Faculty at St Helen’s Kent University. “We’ve been working on this project ever since we realised that the number of crossovers in Team Fortress 2 was appearing to be exponential due to the addition of the Mann. Co store. Well, ever since Valve let basically anyone add an item, the spider diagram of connections went berserk. What’s even more impressive is that even newly published works of fiction become part of the universe in less than a month. If our studies are correct they’ll start becoming canon with 3 minutes of publishing by next year! We haven’t seen anything like it since St. Elsewhere proved that all of television existed in the mind of an autistic ten-year-old back in the 1980s!”

We reached Valve for comment and this is what they had to say:

Team Fortress 2 is one of our proudest achievements, and this new research really shows how dedicated and talented our dev team are. What’s even more impressive, however, is copyright law. Did you know that if you appear in someone else’s fiction you can lay an author’s claim to that fiction? Did you also know that all authors in any work are legally allowed to claim royalties on them? These are facts that Valve are very happy about. Very happy indeed.”

Keep buying hats, everyone. Nothing to worry about here.

About Lewis Dunn

Lewis got into gaming as a child, when he was handed the portable version of crack cocaine, known colloquially as Tetris. He would spend hours trying to make blocks form lines so they would disappear never to return. At the age of 8 he had his first existential crisis as to what happens to blocks that disappear. Lewis has a deep love of humour in games, with some of his favourites being No More Heroes, Brutal Legend & Portal. Lewis enjoys writing bios in the third person.