iPhone 5 Huge Step up for iPhone 3GS Users

Fans of Apple from around the world cried out with joy as the guy who is in charge of Apple now… Tim something I think… unveiled the iPhone 5, a brand new model of the iPhone that about 5 people didn’t see coming. The new model includes features like a bigger screen, a larger memory and a shinier shiny bit that’s all shiny. With all these new features people with an iPhone 3GS should consider an upgrade almost immediately, as the iPhone 5 has so many new features that that model of iPhone doesn’t have.

“This model represents a massive shift for users of the 3GS,” explained… god what is it… Tim Dalton? No that’s James Bond. We’ll just call him Tim. Anyway Tim said “This model represents a massive shift for users of the 3GS,” (we know that bit, it’s the next bit that’s new) “features such as a larger screen, larger memory and shinier shiny bit that is shiny really show how Apple is stepping its game up to its competitor, the economy of China.”

When asked what we can expect from the iPhone 5’s new operating system iOS6 Tim said “Better calendar features, Siri will do accents now and Maps now features some cute road sign directions. We spit balled new feature ideas for about a month and that was about all there was left to do. At least until the iPhone 6. No, wait, forget I mentioned that, there is no iPhone 6. In fact, that name means nothing. 6 isn’t a thing!” he then buried his head into the nearest pot plant and began crying.

The iPhone 5 retails this autumn for an ARM and a LED.

About Lewis Dunn

Lewis got into gaming as a child, when he was handed the portable version of crack cocaine, known colloquially as Tetris. He would spend hours trying to make blocks form lines so they would disappear never to return. At the age of 8 he had his first existential crisis as to what happens to blocks that disappear. Lewis has a deep love of humour in games, with some of his favourites being No More Heroes, Brutal Legend & Portal. Lewis enjoys writing bios in the third person.