THQ realises Metro: Last Light had a Multiplayer Dev Team


THQ once again sent a press release our way declaring the company had, like always, accidentally wasted a large quantity of money. The discovery that Metro: Last Light had recently given up on adding a fully functional multiplayer came as a surprise to both the public and the head of THQ, Brian Farrell.

“I really should keep tabs on these things huh?” said Mr Farrell in a press conference held in a Starbucks down the road from the THQ HQ. “It’s just hard, OK? This company is constantly surprising me with stuff I didn’t even know had started development. I found out last month we made a game called Dood’s Big Adventure. Did you know we made that? I had no clue, Sandra my secretary told me how badly it was doing in a sales meeting and the whole thing came as a surprise. You should have seen the look on the investor’s faces! Yeah, that’s burned into my retina…”

The multiplayer mode had been in development for roughly 2 years, with the company outsourcing the mode to other 3rd party developers. When asked which ones Mr Farrell just shrugged despondently, saying it was probably “one nobody had ever heard of.” This indicates it was probably the team behind Homefront.

Many people have championed THQ’s decision, saying it’s a triumph for single player gaming, but the company shot down any claims it was actually trying to innovate.

“Take artistic risks?! Have you seen our stock?!” explained Mr Farrell. “Sure, I’ve also taken up rope-braiding and bullet catching, what other insane things do you think happen at THQ? Actually you wouldn’t be surprised would you? Nobody would at this stage… Dood’s Big Adventure… who the hell approved that? Other than me.”

About Lewis Dunn

Lewis got into gaming as a child, when he was handed the portable version of crack cocaine, known colloquially as Tetris. He would spend hours trying to make blocks form lines so they would disappear never to return. At the age of 8 he had his first existential crisis as to what happens to blocks that disappear. Lewis has a deep love of humour in games, with some of his favourites being No More Heroes, Brutal Legend & Portal. Lewis enjoys writing bios in the third person.