Peter Molyneux attempts to Kickstart own ego

Photo © Daniel Alexander Smith

With his departure from Lionhead and the failure of Project Milo, Peter Molyneux’s ego has taken something of a beating over the past two years, though one can hardly say a lot of it wasn’t self-inflicted. The infamous developer has now decided to launch a comeback, and, like every person with an idea in the last twelve months, has decided to do it on Kickstarter. But he will not be promising a new game – instead backers will be rewarded with the knowledge that Molyneux’s ego has been suitably inflated back to its old levels.

The project, which is asking for £500,000 in total in order to, as Molyneux himself puts it, “make the biggest, craziest, most unlikely-to-be-fulfilled-ever promise”, was launched amid a fanfare of publicity, with the developer himself putting on a lavish press event at an expensive London hotel in order to get people to pay attention to him. “I’m confident that half a million quid should be enough to convince everyone once again that I’m relevant” said Molyneux in an interview with a man who stopped briefly outside the event to wonder what all the fuss was about.

Some of the perks and levels of the project are as follows:

  • £2. will allow the pledger to turn over their entire email address book to be spammed at will by Molyneux’s campaign team.
  • £5. will entitle you to a set of ten post-cards, to allow you to post them to friends whose email address you may not have
  • £10. will receive a “Thank-you” note from Peter Molyneux, as well as their name in the credits of any project he actually manages to finish
  • £50. will be sent a set of five glossy posters, to be placed on buildings in order to raise awareness of Molyneux’s ego.
  • £200. A set of decals to apply to your car, should you own one, so you can tell everyone on the motorway that “You can do anything”
  • £1,000. A personal letter from Molyneux explaining why he won’t just release Dungeon Keeper 3 already.
  • £5,000. An invitation to be a motivational speaker at any event Peter Molyneux feels lacks his influence. Actual invites not included.
  • £20,000. The starring role in a film about Peter Molyneux’s life.

“Of course” said Molyneux in an interview, “whether or not I can actually deliver on ALL of the commitments is another matter entirely…”

About Cieran Douglass

Cieran built this website in a cave with a bunch of scraps. Actually no that's not right at all, it was with Wordpress and middling Photoshop and design skills. He often plays video games and his favourites are Paper Mario TTYD, GTA San Andreas, Portal 2 and Minecraft. His display picture is not an accurate portrayal. He currently works for a much bigger website at the University of York, but if you'd like him to write something for you he can be contacted at