Peter Molyneux attempts to Kickstart own ego

With his departure from Lionhead and the failure of Project Milo, Peter Molyneux’s ego has taken something of a beating over the past two years, though one can hardly say a lot of it wasn’t self-inflicted. The infamous developer has now decided to launch a comeback, and, like every person with an idea in the last twelve months, has decided to do it on Kickstarter. But he will not be promising a new game – instead backers will be rewarded with the knowledge that Molyneux’s ego has been suitably inflated back to its old levels.

The project, which is asking for £500,000 in total in order to, as Molyneux himself puts it, “make the biggest, craziest, most unlikely-to-be-fulfilled-ever promise”, was launched amid a fanfare of publicity, with the developer himself putting on a lavish press event at an expensive London hotel in order to get people to pay attention to him. “I’m confident that half a million quid should be enough to convince everyone once again that I’m relevant” said Molyneux in an interview with a man who stopped briefly outside the event to wonder what all the fuss was about.

Some of the perks and levels of the project are as follows:

• £2. will allow the pledger to turn over their entire email address book to be spammed at will by Molyneux’s campaign team.
• £5. will entitle you to a set of ten post-cards, to allow you to post them to friends whose email address you may not have
• £10. will receive a “Thank-you” note from Peter Molyneux, as well as their name in the credits of any project he actually manages to finish
• £50. will be sent a set of five glossy posters, to be placed on buildings in order to raise awareness of Molyneux’s ego.
• £200. A set of decals to apply to your car, should you own one, so you can tell everyone on the motorway that “You can do anything”
• £1,000. A personal letter from Molyneux explaining why he won’t just release Dungeon Keeper 3 already.
• £5,000. An invitation to be a motivational speaker at any event Peter Molyneux feels lacks his influence. Actual invites not included.
• £20,000. The starring role in a film about Peter Molyneux’s life.

“Of course” said Molyneux in an interview, “whether or not I can actually deliver on ALL of the commitments is another matter entirely…”