Kotaku “left on repeat” since 2006

Old news. Over and over and over and over…

In documents which have come to light since Hurricane Sandy knocked out all of Gawker’s servers last month, it has been revealed that popular gaming news and softcore-porn website Kotaku has actually just been repeating the same articles every month since 2006.

Suspicions were first raised after the site seemed completely incapable of outputting any new content in the wake of last month’s server outage, which caused the “repeating” server to close down, and the site was left bereft of content for several days. While Mike Fahey was able to step in to review his breakfast every day, the site was notably lacking in any sort of video games or “news”.

“Honestly we’re surprised no-one noticed sooner” said editor Stephen Totilo, “we’ve not actually written anything new since early 2007, we found that repeating the same content over and over again and then sometimes throwing in some picture of barely-concealed boobs we found on Reddit and calling it cosplay was enough to satisfy our users. Heck, even the Wii U coverage was easy enough, we just took all our Wii coverage from six years ago and added a “U”. Granted, it’s left us a little embarrassed at times, but really no more than when we let Fahey write op-eds about colourful horses.”

While the scandal has somewhat dented the website’s reputation, Totilo says that he has no plans to stop the practice. “Most gamers these days have an attention span of about five minutes. We’ve actually been trialling daily recycling of articles now, to save on hard-drive space. We just whack a randomly-generated title at the top and boom, brand-new article. One of the real advantages of the recycling process though is that we get to maintain our integrity – unlike GameSpot or IGN, because they’re five years old you know our articles aren’t thinly veiled adverts!”

About Cieran Douglass

Cieran built this website in a cave with a bunch of scraps. Actually no that's not right at all, it was with Wordpress and middling Photoshop and design skills. He often plays video games and his favourites are Paper Mario TTYD, GTA San Andreas, Portal 2 and Minecraft. His display picture is not an accurate portrayal. He currently works for a much bigger website at the University of York, but if you'd like him to write something for you he can be contacted at cieran@pixelgrater.com.