US pushed over fiscal cliff by Steam sale spending

A rough graph of the direction the US economy is headed

A rough graph of the direction the US economy is headed

While Washington celebrated today that it has finally managed to crack the whole “total economic collapse” problem it knew was coming from two years ago, it turns out that the country will be going over the fiscal cliff after all, with neither Republicans nor Democrats to blame for the situation. Instead, the culprit is those fat-cats in (Redmond) Washington – Valve Corporation.

With the Christmas Steam sale in its twelfth day and showing no signs of abating, eighteen countries, the US included, have declared total and complete bankruptcy due to the large amount of consumer spending.

“I just couldn’t help myself!” said CEO of THQ Brian Farrell (what, you thought because they went bankrupt before the sale we weren’t still going to come back to them – come on!). “The company only had a couple of million left in assets, and, you know, the THQ Pack for $30, that’s a deal that can’t be missed! So we bought lots of them. I don’t know why, but now we don’t have anything other than a lot of Steam gifts.”

President Obama attempted to call an emergency cabinet meeting on the issue, however no deals or agreements were reached due to his entire staff playing World of Goo on their various electronic devices. In a nationally televised speech, he urged citizens of the USA to “retreat back to Skyrim or Liberty City or some other fictional realm which has money. And while you’re at it, see if they won’t extend us a line of credit – fictional or not, we’re not in a situation where we can be picky.”

About Cieran Douglass

Cieran built this website in a cave with a bunch of scraps. Actually no that's not right at all, it was with Wordpress and middling Photoshop and design skills. He often plays video games and his favourites are Paper Mario TTYD, GTA San Andreas, Portal 2 and Minecraft. His display picture is not an accurate portrayal. He currently works for a much bigger website at the University of York, but if you'd like him to write something for you he can be contacted at