The announcement of two more Pokémon games has led to widespread speculation as to what exactly won’t be changing in the new game. With the battling, movement, characters, basic game structure, gym leader based progression, a team that isn’t team rocket but is still serve exactly the same narrative function, some legendries and some half-hearted barely thought out online play the series looks like it will continue its streak of barely evolving at all.
Things that are expected to change include some more new Pokémon (ironically something the series has always done) and some new visuals to make it look different while still remaining almost exactly the same. We spoke to Nintendo rep Stan Nation.
“While many people feel the need to change their games in risky ways that fans may not like, here at Nintendo we pride ourselves on rigidly sticking to the formula,” he explained as he handed out press releases with ‘see last year’s press release but put these screenshots on it’. “We’ve made the game look all 3d and nice, which took about 4 weeks to do, so we just sat around combing animals to make new Pokémon. We’ve made a weasel raccoon. It’s just a stripy weasel. Oh shit we’ve already done that! I have to go think of a new combination of animals. Dung beetle and a flying squirrel? Sure, why the fuck not, it’s not like anybody will use it…”
The game is expected to sell.
My name is Nipple Hair.
Still Nipple Hair.