EA: Sims 3 update to include “boyfriend mode”

Original image credit to IGN

The 895th expansion pack of The Sims 3 (The Sims 3: Removing items from the bottom of round wooden containers with sharp objects) will be featuring a “boyfriend mode”, EA let slip today.

“Too often it seems that titles in The Sims range are enjoyed only by women,” said developer Will Wright from inside his front room containing sixteen wooden chairs, no door and a fireplace, “so we’ve decided to introduce a slightly more “manly” mode for the “hardcore crowd” out there. It’s a well-known fact that men refuse to play girly games like The Sims, and so the “Next Gen” mode as it’s officially known, will add features such as color tinting, lens flare and an array of realistic weapons to your Sims’ town. I can assure you, it’ll get pretty violent, pretty quickly.”

One of the many issues facing EA recently has been their tendency to exclude large swathes of the gaming population through either mismanagement or outright cruelty to their customers, and it is hoped that the introduction of a “boyfriend mode” into the famously female-friendly Sims series will help to bridge the gap between not only men and women, but casual and hardcore gamers. “Of course,” said CEO John Riccitiello, “according to our market research, all girls are casuals and all guys are hardcore. And that’s the way it will remain if I have anything to do with it.”

Wright remains more optimistic. He told us, as he attempted to light his fire for the eighth time, that “what I really want for this game is for guys and girls to be playing it together. The primary player might trouble herself with petty things such as running the household, feeding the children, preparing the meals, working a job and sometimes having some leisure time, while the boyfriend partakes in the far more important task of blowing the ever-loving crap out of the neighbors’ car.”