Sony Not Sure Whether PS4 Games are even Next-Gen


After a confusing reveal of the PS4 last week it’s become clear that eve higher ups at Sony are beginning to become confused as to whether any games on the PS4 are actually “next gen” or just ports of PS3 games. The current line-up of Watch_Dogs, Destiny and Rayman 2 has left the console with considerably less exclusives games than even the original Xbox. With many people confused as to why they should bother buying a PS4 Sony have decided to make an announcement about the future of the platform.

“Thank you all for meeting us inside this large industrial fridge,” said Sony’s lead mechanical and technical co-ordinator of events Gary Goldstien. “We understand many of you are worried about the PS4’s line up. Well, we can confirm that a new Killzone game will be exclusive to the platform! Also with think Media Mollecule are making something and once they’ve finished The Last of Us we’ll get Naughty Dog to make a thing too. Look the truth is we’re kinda jumping the gun a bit, the PS3 is actually still doing well, and with dev costs so high nobody can afford to make a game for just one console anymore, except us, and we just like losing money.”

The press conference was concluded by a shipment of pig carcasses being deposited in the freezer, thus making the room just a bit too meaty to occupy. Sony have failed to comment as to whter or not Insomniac, having formed a partnership with EA, are no officially dead, or instead just bound to the devil to pay for Resistance 3.

About Lewis Dunn

Lewis got into gaming as a child, when he was handed the portable version of crack cocaine, known colloquially as Tetris. He would spend hours trying to make blocks form lines so they would disappear never to return. At the age of 8 he had his first existential crisis as to what happens to blocks that disappear. Lewis has a deep love of humour in games, with some of his favourites being No More Heroes, Brutal Legend & Portal. Lewis enjoys writing bios in the third person.