EA announce Medal of Honor: Marriage Offense

What? No, these are totally original assets!

What? No, these are totally original assets!

In a piece of news that has variously been described as “shockingly forward for such a so-called “evil” company” and conversely as “another example of the moral decline of this once great nation,” Electronic Arts have announced that their next game in the flagging Medal of Honor franchise, in which American soldiers traditionally storm enemy bases in search of the missing letter “u”, will be titled Marriage Offense and will serve as the company’s amicus brief in an attempt to get the Supreme Court of the USA to overturn the controversial Defence of Marriage Act, which denies federal recognition of same-sex marriage.

“Some have called us “spineless” for just jumping on the pro-gay bandwaggon,” said CEO John Riccitiello, “but our research shows that gay people also have money, and many of them even like video games, so it would be crazy for us not to also support gay marriage. We did consider a potential backlash from those opposed to the measure, but then reasoned that they’d probably be too busy complaining about violent video games to ever even consider buying any.”

Far from being a cheap ploy, the latest title is in fact a fully fledged game, in which a team of red-blooded American soldiers (exclusively male) assault an enemy well-known for their bigotry and backwards thinking, in the hopes of spreading truth, freedom, democracy and “The American Way”.

“Okay,” said Riccitiello, “we’ll admit it, we just added some rainbows to Warfighter.”

About Cieran Douglass

Cieran built this website in a cave with a bunch of scraps. Actually no that's not right at all, it was with Wordpress and middling Photoshop and design skills. He often plays video games and his favourites are Paper Mario TTYD, GTA San Andreas, Portal 2 and Minecraft. His display picture is not an accurate portrayal. He currently works for a much bigger website at the University of York, but if you'd like him to write something for you he can be contacted at cieran@pixelgrater.com.