DotA player admits: “It’s all a lie – DotA is fictional”

Dota (noun) - someone who dotes

Dota (noun) – someone who dotes

Players of popular MOBA DotA and its sequel DotA 2 have for a long time covered the Internet in their supposedly impermeable community, spreading the “word” of the titles through Steam invites, but all it took was for one gamer to admit that, actually, none of it ever existed, and the whole house of cards came tumbling down.

The admission by Jim Broadwell of New Haven, Connecticut, has rocked the online gaming world after he announced in a forum post on IGN that he could “no longer keep up the pretence – we’re making it all up. The DotA screenshots are just vanilla Warcraft III with some Photoshop filters, and the heroes are all made up. All DotA actually is is a message saying “act like this game is amazing, rename Notepad.exe to “Dota 2″ and then run it through Steam. Spout jargon.” How people never caught on that our acronyms were made up my literally mashing the keyboard is beyond me!”

Valve in particular are shown to be annoyed at the move, as now that Dota 2 has been shown to be fictional, the requisite “Episode 3 is delayed again” jokes are going to be levelled at them more than ever, with nothing at all to deflect the accusations. “That said,” said a spokesman, “we’re amazed at what we could get people to buy. Not only were they paying real money for virtual items, but fictional virtual items!”

While a statement from the creators of both League of Legends and Heroes of Newearth is expected soon, it is widely believed that they too are entirely fictional titles, with the entire MOBA genre expected to go extinct by Friday. It will join a long line of things formerly thought popular but later revealed to be fictional, such as Nintendo’s originality or Bioware’s integrity.

About Cieran Douglass

Cieran built this website in a cave with a bunch of scraps. Actually no that's not right at all, it was with Wordpress and middling Photoshop and design skills. He often plays video games and his favourites are Paper Mario TTYD, GTA San Andreas, Portal 2 and Minecraft. His display picture is not an accurate portrayal. He currently works for a much bigger website at the University of York, but if you'd like him to write something for you he can be contacted at cieran@pixelgrater.com.