A thousand monkeys at a thousand webcams
The video game industry is expected to see record profits this quarter after all of its woes were solved by a single YouTube commenter. Thirteen-year old “sniperzekrom99”, with a particularly astute comment on the latest trailer for Bioshock Infinite was able to accurately determine all the issues facing the industry, and propose full-featured solutions in order to maximise profits.
“Why don’t they just release this on all the consoles?” began the comment (cleaned up and punctuated for readability), “My mom only let me have a PS2, and I bet that if they released it on the PS2 all the PS2 owners would buy it because this game and then the game company would make lots of money.” 2K Games, realising their folly in neglecting a twelve-year-old console, promptly delayed the release of Infinite in order to create a version for the PS2, with Ken Levine stating “this guy clearly knows what he’s talking about – I don’t know why we didn’t listen to internet commenters before now, we’re projected to make millions!”
Going through sniperzekrom’s comment history, even more good ideas have been found, with Nintendo now projected to release “a Pokémon MMO game with all the Pokémon maps” for iOS and Android, completely avoiding the 3DS, because “the 3DS sucks lol”.
Perhaps most shocking of all is the complete shutting-down of Microsoft’s video games division. Head of the company Steve Ballmer said in a statement: “we’d never fully realised before that our division “sucked” so much, but thanks to this brave kid, we have seen the error of our ways. In fact, we have even donated everything from the division, free of charge, to Sony, because clearly that is the best course of action.”
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