Microsoft to Bring Office to the Xbox this Fall

In a snap press conference called about an hour ago (you have no idea how many speed limits we had to break to get to it) Microsoft announced that Microsoft Office will be hitting the Xbox 360 with the new dashboard this Fall. The new software will include the classic Office suite, with Word, Excel, Publisher and PowerPoint being available at launch, with OneNote to follow because nobody is even sure what OneNote actually does.

“That’s a stupid question,” said Don Mattrick when I asked him if he’d ever considered just ending it all. “I’m not answering that and instead I’m going to tell you why we’re bringing Office to the 360. You see, in this modern age, people are going to their games console more and more to fulfil stuff a computer used to do. Games? They’re better on 360. Films? They’re better on 360. Internet browsing? You… can do that. The Xbox 360 is becoming the technology hub of the house and it seems only logical to put our world renowned software on it. Also it means that Steve Ballmer owes me $50 because he reckoned it couldn’t be done. Another win for the Mattrick…”

Many fans of Microsoft have already began defending the move, Jimothy Xander for example stated online “L0L teh Off1ce Sweet will bl0w t3h PS3’s Pr1iter bullsh1t 0ut the water!” which roughly translates to “My my, the Office software looks rather dandy! I suspect the PS3’s printer functions pale in comparison!” Microsoft have also announced that special characters will be available as launch day DLC.

About Lewis Dunn

Lewis got into gaming as a child, when he was handed the portable version of crack cocaine, known colloquially as Tetris. He would spend hours trying to make blocks form lines so they would disappear never to return. At the age of 8 he had his first existential crisis as to what happens to blocks that disappear. Lewis has a deep love of humour in games, with some of his favourites being No More Heroes, Brutal Legend & Portal. Lewis enjoys writing bios in the third person.