Zombie Supply Runs Out

Despite predictions made by industry analysts that the games industry could just keep on making zombie games, today it transpired that there are officially no more zombies. The supply was thought to be dwindling after the last batch of Call of Duty and Dead Rising games, but after the production of ZombiU and Resident Evil 6 put pressure on the reanimated cache, it seems that the dead might just be dead for good.

“This is an unprecedented scenario,” said Romeo Herez, head of the Foundation for Zombie Preservation. “Many believed we could squander the zombie supplies, but quite simply there are only so many dead people, and so many times you can pull their corpses from the grave and have them stumble around a bit.” When asked if viruses would be able to produce more zombies for now cancelled Plants vs Zombies 2 Mr Herez addressed the issue with a sobering put down. “I’m afraid all current strands of the zombie virus now have worldwide immunity. Anybody left alive is immune by default, and despite our work with Umbrella we’ve not managed to make any progress on a new strain. Several hundred giant spiders and scorpions, yes, but no zombies.”

The current situation has left the games industry in a terrifying compromise. With many developers trying to find a sustainable source of demons from hell and many resorting to treating Russia like it might as well be full of zombies anyway it seems the landscape for games has changed forever. However, in lighter news Valve released a statement assuring it’s customers that the “Headcrab Zombie” will not be affected by this, as it is classed as alien life and not zombie outbreak. They then proceeded to deny they were making any more Half-Life games, stuck their fingers in their ears and went “La la la la!”

About Lewis Dunn

Lewis got into gaming as a child, when he was handed the portable version of crack cocaine, known colloquially as Tetris. He would spend hours trying to make blocks form lines so they would disappear never to return. At the age of 8 he had his first existential crisis as to what happens to blocks that disappear. Lewis has a deep love of humour in games, with some of his favourites being No More Heroes, Brutal Legend & Portal. Lewis enjoys writing bios in the third person.