Exhibition to showcase UK’s largest collection of “Wii dust”

Little-known fact: The Wii logo was originally red, something you can still see when you run your finger over it. Wash your hand afterwards though.

On December 8th 2006, the Wii was reached the shores of the United Kingdom. That evening, and the evenings of the subsequent month, was spent frantically swatting around after Wii Sports and Wii Play, before the console was consigned to the cabinet under the TV, to be removed only briefly in 2008 when Super Smash Bros. came out.

But during their exile from the living-room floor, Britain’s Wiis were not simply sitting idle, they were, as the popular phrase goes, “collecting dust”. Only in 2012 has the sheer magnitude of this dust collection finally become apparent. “It’s like nothing we’ve ever seen before” said Professor Hugo Wolsey, head of particulate physics of the University of the West Midlands. “For decades my department has been searching the UK for new and interesting types of dust, when all this time what we should have been doing was looking at Nintendo consoles! It’s simply fascinating!”

It wasn’t long before Wolsey took it upon himself to launch a collection of the various sorts of dusts found sitting on Nintendo’s soon-to-be retro console, and an exhibition of his finds will be held at the Tate Modern in London from November 1st through to January 31st. In an interview with The Guardian he said “I couldn’t be more excited if I tried, really. This is truly stunning, we’ve got all sorts of dust here, from the classic “grey with mysterious silvery flecks” all the way through to “brown-mass-of-hair-despite-no-on-in-the-house-having-brown-hair”. I’m confident that with this massive sample size we’ll be able to finally make a breakthrough in the field and find out just where all this dust is coming from. I’m betting it’s aliens.”

Nintendo themselves seemed mildly pleased that someone was still paying attention to the Wii, though were reported to be “a little sad” that the millions of consoles excitedly purchased five years ago hadn’t actually moved since. A company insider was overheard stating that “at least with the camera on the controller of the Wii U they’ll be able to monitor the build-up in real time.”

About Cieran Douglass

Cieran built this website in a cave with a bunch of scraps. Actually no that's not right at all, it was with Wordpress and middling Photoshop and design skills. He often plays video games and his favourites are Paper Mario TTYD, GTA San Andreas, Portal 2 and Minecraft. His display picture is not an accurate portrayal. He currently works for a much bigger website at the University of York, but if you'd like him to write something for you he can be contacted at cieran@pixelgrater.com.