Microsoft retire Xbox 360 gaming feature

It’s not a bug, it’s a feature

Microsoft’s popular ESPN and Netflix Portal has lost a feature this week after it emerged that a dashboard update removed the Xbox 360’s ability to play video games.

Head of Microsoft Steve Ballmer was quick to justify his company’s actions, stating in a press conference that “interactive media like video games just aren’t in the console’s design brief any more. It’s a seven-year-old piece of kit and one which we believe has really evolved in that time. Gamers may have noticed that over time the ability to play games on the console has been understated, with apps such as the XBLA Marketplace shifted to the depths of the interface, and us dedicating more space to Jersey Shore adverts than to the games that people apparently wanted to play.”

The move has proved significantly controversial amongst both gamers and other developers, with many developers being forced to make apologetic noises in the direction of Sony for neglecting PS3 development in favour of Microsoft’s console in the hope of being tossed a PS3 devkit. Microsoft’s fans were quick to jump into the fray to defend their chosen company, with a decidedly pained expression on their faces, explaining that they “didn’t really want BLOPS2 anyway” and that “Assassin’s Creed III will probably be rubbish anyway.” “I’m much happier with my console giving me easy access to silly YouTube videos and Amazon products” said gamer sausagebread91; however on hearing that his gamerscore was also one of the things nixed in the update we were unable to extract more information from him over the sounds of his sobbing.

Ballmer has been unrepentant in the face of criticism. “To be quite honest,” he said, “with failure rate as high as it is, our consoles have been retiring the ability to play games periodically since 2005.”

About Cieran Douglass

Cieran built this website in a cave with a bunch of scraps. Actually no that's not right at all, it was with Wordpress and middling Photoshop and design skills. He often plays video games and his favourites are Paper Mario TTYD, GTA San Andreas, Portal 2 and Minecraft. His display picture is not an accurate portrayal. He currently works for a much bigger website at the University of York, but if you'd like him to write something for you he can be contacted at