THQ, a company renowned for its ability to avoid death like cockroach with a healthy lifestyle, has hit another financial milestone in that it is the first company ever to try and clear its virtual stock. Announcing the “THQ Humble Bundle” the company is treating the affair like a fire sale, giving away 5 of its games for a dollar minimum.
“Well we tried auctioning off the office space but we only got $10 for a corner where a guy comes into the office and just stares at us,” explained Brian Farrel, CEO of the now renamed THQ SuperValu. “He’s been there for a week… I think he’s making a documentary or writing a novel or something, either way he makes notes and seems to be observing our downfall with great interest.”
“Anyway the bundle; we thought long and hard about how to get out of debt and we concluded that we were being held back by old IP. So we called up the Humble Bundle guys, explained how we wanted to move on and they offered to help us do the Humble Bundle thing. So far we’ve made about $145 and they’ve made $25,678. We didn’t look at the contracts properly because we replaced our lawyer with a cat in a suit. He may not be capable of intelligent thought but he was PURRFECT in the interview! Ahahahaa… ah. Ahhhh. I need to stop making business decision off the back of puns.”
THQ is expected to go bust in about a week. Again.