DmC: Devil May Cry Review Round Up

dante

To celebrate the release of the new Devil May Cry game, DmC: Devil May Cry I’ve ctrl+v’d a bunch of reviews. Here they are:

The all new combat system is smooth, buttery, and with a hint of chocolaty sweetness that mellows out the flavour. – Gaming Food Metaphors Monthly

Meh – Hard to Impress Weekly

The things that have changed from the previous game are no longer the same, and thus this game is not Devil May Cry 4, despite what the name partially leads you to believe – Purely Objective Stand Point Digest

I’m not sure what this is – Partially Blind Journal

It didn’t work on our CD player – Kerrang

Fucking marvellous – Having Sex with Inanimate Objects Fortnightly

Review Coming Soon – Perpetually Delayed Daily/Weekly/Monthly/Annual

Dicks Tits Anus – The Swear Word collective

Dante’s SOOOOO dreamy! *Giggle* I’d LOVE to go back to his trailer some time and maybe get changed there? I’m sure he’s really smooth with chicks… – Airheaded Bimbo BiWeekly

CHANGE?! WHO ALLOWED THIS SERIES TO CHANGE?! I FUCKING HATE CHANGE, I WANT IT ALL TO STAY THE SAME! WHAT? LUGUI’S MANSION 2?! WHY NOT LUIGI’S MANSION 1!? THIS IS FUCKING INTOLERABLE! – The Republican Party Newsletter

Do you hear the people sing? – Les Miserables

The aesthetic and overall presentation are amazing, and the combat is a lot of… of… sorry is that a bird outside? Is it a… OH SHIT IT’S A DUCK HIDE! – Anatidaephobic Suffers’ Annual News Letter.

Why isn’t this Megaman?  – Megaman fan.

About Lewis Dunn

Lewis got into gaming as a child, when he was handed the portable version of crack cocaine, known colloquially as Tetris. He would spend hours trying to make blocks form lines so they would disappear never to return. At the age of 8 he had his first existential crisis as to what happens to blocks that disappear. Lewis has a deep love of humour in games, with some of his favourites being No More Heroes, Brutal Legend & Portal. Lewis enjoys writing bios in the third person.